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Friday, October 16, 2009

Blood, Sex & Vampires - Revisited


So I felt that I had to make good on some scathing words I spouted a few months ago. My venom was directed at none other than vampires I slagged off as being "fake" or at least, IMHO, just not up to snuff. WELL WELL WELL. Didn't I have to eat my words just a bit. It started by watching True Blood and dagnabit if I'm not hooked, patiently waiting for the 2nd Season to be released on DVD already so I can watch it all in one clip like I did with Season 1. However, I feel I must make it clear that I believe this show to be about sex first, and vampires second (or third, or maybe fourth, not sure but sex definitely has the #1 slot). The fact that about half the cast is a vampire reads as completely un-shocking when paired with the ridiculous amount of sex being had by most every major character. For those who aren't getting busy, Jason Stackhouse makes up for their lack by bedding a different woman in each episode. Who doesn't have a soft spot in their heart for a slutty dingbat?


After finding considerable enjoyment in True Blood I moved on to my next target, Twilight. So reading Twilight started out well enough, I was really enjoying the build up for introducing Edward as this mysterious, vampire superhero type. How dashing! I'll admit it, I would be completely smitten as well however TOTALLY unrealistic the scenario is from soup to nuts. I thought the initial tension between Edward and Bella was spectacular. I found myself really engaged and couldn’t wait to see how their desire for each other would pan out. And then it did. [insert sigh of disappointment] They started dating and all of a sudden the lustful pursuit which kept me captivated in the beginning, just left me with a cheesy taste in my mouth. I know, gross thought, but if I had to live through it then I'll be damned if you don't! The whole "We must! But we shouldn't…" and "I'm here to protect you! But I'm what you need protection from…" thing grew very tiresome very quickly. I mean, I GET it. He's dead, she's not, the logistical issues are apparent AND I understand that the whole "will they? won't they?" factor makes for greater conflict. Still, I think I would have preferred an abridged version, one with less gooey sentimentalism in every piece of dialogue between the protagonist and her suitor. Like, is it really necessary that Bella be almost COMPLETELY helpless, weak and clumsy ALL THE TIME? Ugh. SO not my idea of a stand-up female role model. Boo! Hiss!

Long story short, I WILL tune in for subsequent seasons of True Blood because I have not had my fill of impassioned cries for "BEEHL!" or "SUKEH!" and likely WON'T bother reading any of the Twilight sequels. I may check out the movie and see if the film adaptation is more tolerable than the text was, you know, as research, not because I'm into sparkly vampires or anything…

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