Thursday, March 4, 2010

American Idol Recap! Top 10 Female Semi-Finalists

I never thought it possible for Ryan Seacrest to gain any respect in my book, but after he outed Kara for being the ho that she is for her recent need to constantly snuggle up to Simon, quite like I mentioned yesterday, his standing on the douche-charts has catapulted him from just above Speidi to just below Mario Lopez (which is actually a huge improvement in case you aren't familiar with douche-ranking).

Congrats, Seacrest!

On to business…

Crystal Bowersox was BACK (bitches!) singing "As Long As I Can See The Light" by Creedence Clearwater Revival after being hospitalized for an undisclosed illness the previous night. I wasn't totally loving it at first but when she hit that wicked high note toward the end it made the whole thing pretty awesome. The judges love the performance, especially Simon, though I think he may have confused himself and the rest of the English speaking world when he said that he thinks the judges may have "mis-underestimated" her in the past. Or just (me) and the bee because I just found out that misunderestimate actually IS a word, however purposeless and self negating it seems to be.

Simon compares her to Kelly Clarkson.

Should we just call this season a wrap now, OR WHAT?

Haeley Vaughn causes barnyard animals to pray for an early slaughter with her version of "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. I think this girl is cute, she makes stylish little headbands that I would totally buy. Maybe that's what she should focus on, because hearing her sing last night was like putting a cheese grater to my ear hole. This doesn't typically happen on this show, but I think she may be sounding worse as the weeks go by. The judges are clearly reading my mind because they have nothing positive to say about this performance.

It's at this point that I notice Kara's outfit. At first glance it appears she is wearing a trash bag necklace.

also? i'm fairly convinced this shot captures Kara farting in Ellen's direction. pig.

Lacey Brown, who may not be human at all but some form of japanimation, sang "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer.

*clearly* indistinguishable

I think her rendition of this song will leave her sixpence none the richer unless she does something DRASTICALLY different next week. IF there is a next week. She also has the NERVE to act as though she was planning on singing this song all along even though there is a clip shown of Kara suggesting she sing this from last week's episode. Ellen tells her she thought the performance was "adorable" to which Lacey responds "I like you too!".

What is happening on this show?!

Do we need to arrange a play date for these two?

Simon says it was unmemorable. I think it was terrible.

Next we have Katie Stevens singing "Put Your Records On" by Corrine Bailey Rae. Last week Katie came off as about 20 years older than she actually is, and even though most girls her age want to appear older, this was not a good thing. I think she has a really nice voice, and so far it was the best I have heard her this season. I am still having a hard time believing that she's not 35. Apparently Ellen feels the same way because she tells her that she'd like to see her act even younger. (???) Kara makes a neck strangling motion while telling Katie how frustrated she is with her performance. Simon gives her his signature creepy old guy wink.

Right about here is when things get really weird.

Ryan is introducing Didi Benami as the next singer and towards the end of his intro grabs her hand and holds onto it for an inappropriately long time and all of a sudden I feel like I'm watching a wholly repulsive moment unfold between a frightened young girl and her pedophilic uncle.

American Idol - Not As Innocent As It Seems (or should be)

Didi sings "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers and right away something seems amiss. I think this girl is usually good. I like her voice and style for the most part but this rendition is borderline unlistenable. She interchanges scream-singing with some too deep for her range, tones that makes this performance one of the worst of the night. Randy says almost exactly what I said in the previous sentence and now I'm not totally unconvinced that I couldn't be the 4th judge on this show. Didi is crying/speechless. You would be too if skeevy "Uncle Ryan" molested your arm on TV.

Michelle Delamor chooses to sing one of the stupidest songs by one of the worst bands I can think of. I can't understand what would possess a hip, young girl to sing a dated irrelevant song like "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed, but she does. And, no surprise here, I hate it although I think the girl has chops since she held her own singing Alicia Keys last week. Also no surprise? Kara loves it and tells her it's her best performance EVER. Simon agrees. Apocalypse to follow.

Here's a question: Is Randy a huge Yo Gabba Gabba fan? Based on last night's choice of cardigan, I would have to say, yes.

i'm kind of stretching with this one. i know. humor me?

Lilly Scott, the quirky "indie" contestant of this season sings "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. Tonight she chooses a 12 string guitar for accompaniment. OK, you've got our attention. I really love this song but I did not feel it worked to showcase her voice as well as something else could have. All I'm hearing now is scream-talk-sing-song and I think it's kind of a mess. The judges and I exist on different audible planes at this moment in time because they say she's the greatest thing since Jesus. (not really, but you know what I mean)

Now onto Katelyn Epperly who played piano and sang "The Scientist" by Coldplay. In her mini-bio we get to see her make the bitch PLEASE face that she gave last week after Kara commented that she didn't love her "makeover". Katelyn may very well be the most self-possessed of the contestants this season, male or female. She was giving off a bit of a Barbra vibe, which I'm not entirely sure is a good thing. Ellen has a Paula moment when she confuses a piano for a guitar. Kara "thinks she loves her" and has apparently inherited the creepy wink from Simon.

Paige Miles sings "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson and we find out that she likes to color as her pre-show ritual, as in, color in a coloring book-color. Who doesn't? She's a cute girl and I like her style. She has a darn good voice but she's no Kelly Clarkson and it shows. Kara earns her bitch point for the evening when she tells Paige that she was projecting the wrong emotions with her singing. And she should know, she wrote the song. So Kara IS good for something. Huh. Simon is not impressed. Big whoop.

Finally, Siobhan Magnus goes BALLS. OUT. with her song choice for the night, "Think" by Aretha Franklin. We find out that just last year Siobhan was rocking a Mohawk. She's cool, but like Avril LaVigne, I get the feeling that she tries a little too hard to be "alternative". I kind of thought the performance was lackluster until she woke me from my TV coma with a classic Adam Lambert screech at the end. According to Simon's critique, her slaughtered pig squeal was the highlight of the performance and then he calls her a "strange thing".

So there you have it.

My picks to go home?

Haeley and Michelle though, in truth, Didi sang worst of all.

I'm going to attempt to make this a regular thing so check back every Wednesday & Thursday for each night's recap


  1. OMG YOU PUT AXEL IN YOUR BLOG!! WOOO!! LOVE YA SIS!!!(*still loves him haha*) That girl does look kinda like him--I should watch American Idol one of these days too...

  2. yay! you are my very first commenter on this blog! how special for us both! you have made fangirl feel super-loved...