Wednesday, March 10, 2010

American Idol Recap! Top 8 Female Semi-Finalists

Last night the judges were trying to prove SOMETHING by having Ellen sit on Simon's lap in addition to taking over Kara's usual neck nuzzling position. What that something was, I have yet to determine and furthermore, who really cares?

Perhaps Simon has a real fondness for elfin blondes. If that's the case, it looks like there's still hope for Seacrest yet!

Biggest improvement I've noticed so far over last week?

This show will only be an hour long.

Thank. GOD.

First up tonight, is the aged beyond her years, Katie Stevens singing "Break Away" by Kelly Clarkson. Damn! What happened to her voice? She sounds like a regular Breathy McBreatherson and it's boring and I basically hate it. Ellen complains about her not acting young enough, yet again. Apparently Katie thought that choosing a full on mom outfit to wear tonight would go unnoticed by the judges (and me) but clearly it hasn't. Kara hits her with a verbal bitch slap by telling Katie that "she doesn't know who she is". As in, Katie not knowing who Katie is, not Kara not knowing who Katie is because Kara might be a bitch but it's not like she's Paula.

General consensus: not so awesome.

Onto Siobhan Magnus with "The House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals. This is a great song. It has been covered by a literal TON of really amazing artists so I'm kind of confused why she thought it a good pick for tonight's show. I'm actually trying not to laugh during this because I'm fairly sure this girl is singing this without even a trace of irony. There's no doubt she has some serious pipes, but every time I see her perform it seems like she should be doing so in front of an audience at a road production of Les Mis. Or something. It just seems like she takes herself a little TOO seriously. Again, what do I know? because, guess what? The judges eat that shit up. EXCEPT! Simon who thinks it was "ploddy and boring".

My faith in the world is once again renewed.

The good news for Siobhan?

Her outfit is cute.

So here's when the camera catches Ryan whisper-SCREAMING something about "being as difficult as it seems?" into Siobhan's ear after her performance, because yeah, Ry, we ALL heard you and it was kind of awkward. Which, given the chance, Siobhan would have likely answered:

"Yes, but not as difficult as it is for you to reach the top shelf in the fridge."

That's right folks, I went there.

Now for Lacey Brown with "The Story" by Brandi Carlile. I'm actually digging this. Maybe it's because I've never heard this song before so I am less distracted with comparing hers to the original version. Eh? Maybe. This little anime girl is starting to grow on me. The judges love it which just proves that:


Ryan introduces the next performance as "Carole King courtesy of Katelyn!" right before the commercial break.

What a tool.

So, thanks to Ryan's unnecessary and highly annoying use of alliteration, we all know that Katelyn Epperly will be doing "I Feel The Earth Move" by Carole King. I immediately wonder if Ellen will confuse a piano for a guitar again.

Nice hair!

I don't mean that.

I hate it.

c'mon, you were thinking the SAME thing

You know what else I hate? This performance. Neither I, nor the earth are moved by this. Randy finds it sleepy/boring. Ellen loves to steal my material because she just addressed the whole piano/guitar confusion controversy from last week, which was really just a way of skirting around the fact that she wasn't impressed with the performance either. Kara didn't feel she had the 'in it to win it' spirit. Simon likes her hair.

Well, guess what?

He has a terrible haircut, so what does he know anyway?

I do like her jumper.

I would put it in my closet.

Also, her bird necklace is pretty sweet.

See? I can be nice.

Didi Benami attempts to redeem herself after last week's mess with "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac. This is another amazing song choice and I think she really does it justice. That being said…

Ingrid Michaelson?


I'm saying that I think she sounds just like her with a leeeeettle bit of Frente! peppered in the mix.

This is not a bad thing, per se, just kind of distracting and may prove to be her downfall in future weeks.

We shall see.

ANYWHO, Ellen obviously likes it because she throws out a "Yes, Indeed-y, Didi!" which causes (me) to throw up a little in my mouth.

At this point in time I am trying DESPERATELY to pick apart Kara's outfit.

Alas, I find her completely inoffensive as of yet.

you win this time, DioGuardi…

Next, Paige Miles with "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin? Really? It is now clear to me that I need to do some extensive research on Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin because I was clueless about his musical virtuosity. Also, it's the only thing to keep me from DYING of embarrassment for this girl and her performance because, that's how bad it was. Honestly, I'm not being mean here. I think this girl just bought her ticket home.


Based on their critiques, the judges were equally as uncomfortable as I was watching it. Simon refers to it as a "peanut performance" which in reality, is a MAJOR diss to Mr. Peanut because he never fails to entertain, quite unlike Paige.

always entertaining

Crystal Bowersox blows the sox off of "Give Me One Reason" by Tracy Chapman. She plays guitar and at this point I notice a large part of the crowd standing and clapping. Were they doing this before? I really don't know. I do know that she is AWE-SOME.

I'm just gonna say it now:

best performance of the night.

Suck it, haters.

Judges LOVE. IT.

Simon says she "one million billion percent will be in the top 12"

I love it when we agree.

The show wraps up with Lilly Scott singing "I Fall To Pieces" by Patsy Cline. She plays the mandolin which is really gonna confuse Ellen but it impresses me. She has a memorable style about her but I'm still getting that "Ingrid Michaelson" vibe, though less than I did with Didi.

I'm now starting to think I'm being unfair with all my comparisons.

After all, she IS wearing crocheted earrings.

homemade things are great. when they aren't hideous.

Ok, that's not fair either.

It was preeeeeeeety good. Not great.

The judges give her mostly good feedback. Ellen declares her love for her. Simon says that for the final performance of the night it lacked the "wow factor"

Yet again, the show ends with a whimper.

Can someone please remind me why I decided THIS SEASON was the one I should start recapping?


My picks to go home?

Katie and Paige

Tomorrow I'll cover the boys.
That sounded kind of dirty.
It might just be.
You'll just have to come back and see for yourself.

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