Wednesday, May 26, 2010

American Idol Season 9 FINALE Recap!!!

So, this is it, folks...

Our last chance to be the recipients of Simon's awesome wink of creepiness. Lucky for you I got a screen shot of it so we can remember and treasure that face forever:

While Simon gives us what we all want, Kara was busy cultivating the "Roxie Shield" from Mannequin look for tonight's show:

Not sure WHY, but hey, whatever...

Tonight's show has been broken up into 3 parts, with the remaining contestants singing 3 songs a piece. For the first set we have a "Contestant's Choice" which amounts to them selecting a song they've chosen during a previous performance this season.

First up is Lee with "The Boxer" by Sammy & The Funk Simon & Garfunkel (my apologies for lame jokes. i am EXTREMELY punchy this afternoon).
I'm not entirely bowled over by this performance and I'm pretty sure I liked it better when Lee sang it the first time around. The most memorable thing about it for me was the PRICELESS quotes that came from the judges:
Randy - "It's come down to the duel to the finish" Just let that nonsense sink in... Roll it around on your tongue and then PLEASE explain to me what the fuck sense that makes.
Ellen - "I couldn't be prouder if I birthed you myself" Just... NO.
Kara - "I need to see you come over MORE" Ooooooookay...
Simon - "It was a kiss on the cheek when I wanted a kiss on the lips" Alright, that's ENOUGH! Who's in charge of getting these judges laid?

Next, Crystal takes the stage with "Me & Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin.
Again, I wasn't totally crazy about this. It all seemed kind of forced and I liked it better the first time she sang this song.
Randy thought it was "dope". Ellen remarks that she is "so compelling on stage" and Kara loved it then and loves it now. Simon comments that she was "back on [her] best" and that it was "terrific".

Ummmmmmm, I guess so.

The second set of songs is brought to you by "Simon Fuller's Choice" who wiki tells me is the creator of the show, but to me he'll always be the less recognizable Simon from American Idol:

Suck it, Fuller...

Lee sings "Everybody Hurts" by REM.
The problem with this is I don't really like this song in the first place because I kind of can't stand REM, soooooooooooo, needless to say, I don't really like the performance.
The judges weren't all that crazy about it either.
Randy said it was pitchy at first but "it was a lot better" than the first song. Ellen wasn't completely impressed and Kara mentions it was "emotionally accessible" what-EVER that means...
Simon remarks it was a "brilliant song choice" *cough*kiss ass*cough* but that he thinks Lee seems too nervous.

Crystal sings "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles.
I completely and totally did not like this AT. ALL. I thought she sounded like a bleating goat and although I tend to like this song in it's original form, I think that's a part of the problem with this version. It's NOT the original and it's one of those songs so over selected in the AI catalogue that I just don't want to hear it ever.
Randy says "Mama-sox is in it to win it!". Ellen calls it "fantastic" and Kara just has me confused with her comment that "Tonight's the night... to kill yourself on stage". Really?! 'Cause that would DEFINITELY make for some interesting programming...
Simon says that she "absolutely nailed it" which has me wondering:

What's the chance that Simon would say just about ANYTHING just to win this competition for Crystal?

For the final selection we have the "Coronation Song" which I'm not entirely sure I know what that even means. I'm also very tired now and kind of don't care what it means. So let's just leave it at that...

he doesn't look ENTIRELY uncomfortable or anything...

Lee sings "Beautiful Day" by U2.
At first, I don't like it but by the introduction of the chorus and added instrumentation it starts to grow on me.
Randy loves it and Ellen mentions that she "was watching your eyes... taking in all these people's energy" Which sounds to me like a TOTAL violation of personal space and freedom but HEY! It's a free country, bitches...
Kara thinks he "got swallowed up in that song" EXCUSE me? but follows that up with "you deserve to be here" Well, gee, THANKS for your seal of approval...
Simon says "I genuinely wish the best for you... You're a great guy" THAT can't be good news...

righbackatcha Sime-y...

Crystal finishes the night with "Up To The Mountain (MLK Song)" by Patti Griffin.
Ok, kids. The honest truth is I didn't really love this. Either I'm running out of steam or this night's performances mostly sucked. It doesn't matter much because this is it and I have no say in who wins this -ish ANYWAY.
As for the judges...
Randy responds that it was "one of [her] greatest performances" while Ellen makes mention that Crystal is incomparable in her style & delivery. Kara tells her she was "completely emotionally invested" and that she "blossomed with that song". Simon calls it the best performance/song of the night and wraps it all up with an "outstanding".

Given all this...
My pick to WIN?

Crystal, even though this article seems to think she doesn't stand a chance.

It's been a helluva ride, kiddos. Thanks for the company!

Until... then! With... who KNOWS!


  1. I really appreciate this run-down because while I don't watch AI, I still like to follow it and keep current with what's going on. I had heard that Crystal had it 'in the bag' for weeks but then the other guy ended up winning- the real contest will be the record sales of course!

  2. Hahaha. I never noticed how creepy that wink of Simon is until you pointed it out.